Sa pagpatak ng dilim, ang puso ay parang si haring araw na naglaho sa paningin ng mundo; parang sinag na nawalan ng dahilan upang magpakita muli sa bukang-liwayway ngunit sa katotohanan, ang puso tulad ng araw, namamahinga lamang. Subalit ang takipsilim ay mabigat para sa puso. Sa pagdating ng kadiliman, ang puso ay nagsusumo para sa liwanag, para sa kung ano man ang makakapagtahan sa lumbay ng paghihintay para sumikat. Kahit sa oras ng pahinga at pag-iisa, ang puso ay nangangailangan ng kalinga at ng malasakit. Sa bawat gabing nakapapanglaw, ang puso tulad ng araw, ay nakakaranas ng hindi maipaliwanag na kalungkutan. Ngunit sa dilim rin naipamamalas ang tibay at tatag ng pusong napaaaligiran man ng kadiliman, ay walang ibang hangad kung hindi muling lumakbay patungong silangan.
Upon receiving an e-mail from my university regarding the premature end of the semester, I knew I did not want it. I was already dreading the days spent at home. Though I had the luxury of time to work on my deadlines, more so on personal projects, having too much time did not sit well with me. This sounds contradicting, especially with how I would often rant about being busy. Others may say you finally got the time, and yes, I agree. Take more rest, they would say. Use this time to let go and relax, so on and so forth. What I know for sure, I am not comfortable having this much time.
In the light of the ongoing protests, civil unrest and violence, Hong Kong is entering its dark times. What began from a clear cut movement against the now dead Extradition Bill turned into a seemingly anarchic movement under the pretext of desiring democracy. Whether the police or protesters are aware or not, the chaos brought upon by the months of unrest is the very definition of anarchy – not simply destruction or rejection but denial of what is believed as inhuman government and establishing a more just, acceptable and human system.
Please don’t argue Foucault or Bentham on this Weber reference, fight me. At the very least, I remain confident in my belief that both the protesters and the police force do not act for the sake of acting but their actions serve as a reflection of what system they believe is better for Hong Kong.
Few years ago, I established my very first blog named Non-linear. There was an insatiable desire to put my thoughts into words as I would often feel frustrated over my incapability to relay my emotions to others. There were many instances wherein these attempts resulted to misunderstandings and overthinking. Non-linear was my attempt to practice communicating my thoughts and feelings.
I’ve long deleted the account. It felt pretentious and it was a struggle to write about the things I love. Yet the desire to express my thoughts was constantly there, and now I am trying to pick up the pieces of my mind. This blog is my attempt to share my love for certain things, hoping to find peace in the process of writing them down.
Mga muni-muni sa bukang liwayway, sa tahimik na gabi, sa oras na walang lakas, sa ingay at nakaririnding katahimikan ng tahanan. Mga diwang hindi mapakali, nagbabakasakaling mahinto. Biyahe ng aking diwa. Biyahe ng nakaalpas.